NOT EVEN NOT KNOWING

 



All definitions of this that appear to give you a solid explanation are only placeholders for nothing at all. Thoughts appear and concepts appear, yet thoughts and concepts are only thoughts and concepts, as if that explains what is going on. No one can do anything for there is no one to do anything. The character is simply a description of what can never be known or described.

Right now, how are you aware? How are you seeming to read these words? How do you seem to feel emotion? No one ever has answered those questions. Nor are you nothing or emptiness or the absolute, for those are more stories written with wind upon pages made of air. This is unknowable, and even the concept of knowing and unknowing is a lie. Trying to understand this logically is like trying to light a match in the midst of a forest fire.

I am not saying anyone should stop trying, for no one is doing or not doing. If all is unreal or all is true it would be indistinguishable, because those are concepts that only mean something if we believe they do. Look outside right now and find a true thing and a false thing, a real thing and an unreal thing. You will never find any actual thing at all, or the one looking. So, all we have is what is, this, what appears... and concepts such as true or false are irrelevant. So how can concepts and opinions and interpretations about this ever be true? And if they can’t, then even the idea of “this” becomes unintelligible.

I have listened and read and talked endlessly about this, and am no closer to any understanding or even knowing what is meant by not knowing. Somehow along the wayless way, I discovered that it never was answers I was looking for, but the words that stop the mind by opening the heart to awe and wonder and ineffable beauty. Words that seem to reflect what is seen here, like looking into someone’s eyes and seeing an endless expanse of mirrors reflecting my dreams in every apparent form I perceive. This aliveness I call love lingers long after all the theories and concepts and ideas have burned to ash in the library of the mind.
♥

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