This Terrible Love, a journal of nonduality

   photo by Inna Darda, Odessa, Ukraine I don't have a story that there is something a few can discover that is not what already always is. Sometimes it may seem to manifest as a being that sees through illusions or beliefs, but that is the very same thing as a being with illusions and beliefs. Illusions and beliefs are just ideas, and that is also only an idea. Whatever I see is simply felt as what has always been here, just like someone walking down the same street everyday and never noticing the graffiti on the wall. Once it's seen, they realize it was always there. But the one who sees it and the one who doesn't are the very same, no separate one at all. I can't separate the world into parts. Sometimes it's sunny, sometimes there is happiness because life appears the way you imagine it should be. But sometimes it's not safe for the body, sometimes you hurt, you are hungry, and there seems to be suffering. 'What is' seems to change, but not really

  MIRACLE MILE A few guests have arrived at the retreat, though this is not a “formal” event. The landowner invited three artists who had been here before to come and finish projects they were working on. He emailed Fiona and me saying he knew we would help create “a spiritually and creatively nurturing environment.” We both burst into laughter when we read that, because at heart we are brats and also because more and more we no longer seem to understand what anyone means by anything they say. We imagine it means not disturbing anyone and Fiona making exquisite meals they can eat when they want, as regular mealtimes might interrupt their creative flow. The artists are no doubt filled with beliefs of being inspired by the muse and the importance of art. We made sure the cabins were all set up with comfortable bedding and plenty of necessities, including bug spray for the midges, and that they have access to camping equipment and trail maps I made, though we imagine they will mostly work