This Terrible Love, a journal of nonduality

The only reason she wanted to be a dancer w as that all she ever wished for was to do one thing so beautifully that everyone’s heart would stop and they would melt forever in an eternal ephemeral instant beyond time that would linger in the afterglow of their lives and they would never forget that moment of perfection, that absolute wonder and joy. Just one moment when it would be as if she had burst into flames and could ignite the warmth in even the coldest hearts, the girl who when she was 11 in Sunday School and the teacher talked of how great Jesus’ sacrifice had been piped up and said, "I would do that," because of course, who wouldn’t go through any agony, any suffering, any pain, to save the world (and especially if in 3 days you get to come back to life, but the nuns were mad enough without that comment). She never knew it was a world that never needed saving. A world that never needed any one to do any thing at all, for the beauty and the love were never missing. Al

    You find yourself drawn to their words, over and over again, binge-watching their videos like other people watch the latest Netflix hit. Is it something they know, or perhaps something they no longer know? Something they have lost, an illusion dispelled? And yet the dream remains.  It seems there is someone pointing to the nature of the shared dream of life, even as they point to the illusion of there being any other or any separate self to experience the dream. You read book after book, but language turns the endless blanket of stars that is the night sky into a few words on a white page.    And so often, teachers see how the words they use fall like rain before they reach the ears of the seeker, let alone their hearts and minds. So sometimes they try to sound like they have a path, a technique, a method. Yet it seems most know this is not possible, for if it is a gate-less gate, how can there ever be a key?    Sometimes teachers seem to simply offer hope and a moment of conn